(Originally posted March 10, 2008)
Why do people avoid the shopping carts that aren’t pushed all the way into the row of carts? You know, like if somebody leaves a cart out of “line”, like a wheeled leper or something? I mean I’ve seen folks literally walk around these orphaned carts as if they’d get cooties or something, and pull one (usually with difficulty, as they are often stuck together) (especially at Target) from the nice neat line of obedient carts. Let’s call it the Shopping Cart Cooties Evasion Tactic.
And then there’s the Toilet Stall Flinch. You go to a stall in a public place, and someone before you has forgotten to flush, and you do the Flinch and “ugh” and go to the next stall? Like it’s somebody else’s job to go around flushing after people? Why not just flush it yourself, seriously? Do you think their pee is somehow toxic, and if you should flush, some of it could get on you and disfigure you for life? And that washing your hands afterwards would somehow not be enough to cleanse you from the act you have just carried out? Seriously, how different is it from flushing your own poo? (My only thought is that the Flinchers have never had kids. Boy, after you have kids, man, there is no bodily excretion in the world you haven’t already dealt with.)
And don’t get me started about the Bluetooth Cyborgs. I can’t tell you how many times someone has been looking directly at me and speaking, and I say, “Excuse me?”, only to realize they have that obnoxious little bug in their ear and are carrying on some terribly important conversation into the air. Like some crazy homeless person in Santa Monica, except better dressed.
I said don’t get me started!